Between These Lines (A Young Adult Novel) Page 7
Chase
I was going to have to revoke my promise to Evie about being at Jake’s party. As I saw it, there was no way I could get out of the deal—the one arranged by Shane. Evie would have to understand that I didn’t want to be at the party in the first place. I wasn’t one of them. Would never be one of them. I was only going for her, because she asked me, and well . . . things change.
Truth was, I wasn’t all that afraid of Evie knowing about me. The little I told her last night, about my parents, about the accident, felt so good — like coming clean. I was sure in time, when the moment was right, if that moment ever came, I would tell her about my scars. I would show her if I had to, but not because I wanted her to feel sorry for me. I wanted to show her because as much as I hated them, they were a part of me. The real me. If it appalled her like Shane had so pleasantly predicted, well I guess that was a chance I was willing to take.
I stood outside English Lit and pictured her at her seat. Shane had me so angry this morning that I needed time to come to my senses and calm down, causing me to skip Social Communications. Something I’d never done before.
Evie was quietly smoothing her hair with her fingers as I approached her row. She didn’t know that I knew about the mark on her cheek, and I felt myself tense with hidden rage at the thought of Shane’s hand coming into contact with her smooth skin. I wanted everyone else to disappear so I could take her into my arms and hold her, but I had to play it her way for now, and pretend I had no idea what was behind the blonde locks she so earnestly played with.
She tilted her head, careful not to let the length of her hair move too quickly out of place so that I would see. If that happened—if I saw—I would never take my seat.
By the time I got to her row and stood in front of her desk, I realized nothing could make me move and walk the few steps I needed to get to the back of the row. My feet wouldn’t budge. I searched for the mark beneath her hair, to see it for myself, but I couldn’t get past her eyes. I couldn’t get past how sweet and gentle and amazing she was, even though the deepest part of me knew Shane had done this to her—and that was the part that was killing me.
Voices whispered around us—how odd I looked standing there without saying a word, staring at her. She looked back at me, her eyes filled with fear, then worry, but then they quickly softened and her hands settled on top of her desk, as if giving up the battle to hide her face. As if it wasn’t really worth it. I smiled back and finally, my feet were able to move, leading me to the rows behind her where I belonged.
Professor Coleman broke us up into our study groups, and she and I moved to the back of the room.
“Where’s Tara?” I asked.
“Orthodontist. She’s coming back after lunch.”
“Great. I’ll be sure to throw a party for her.”
Evie giggled, ‘though it looked like moving her face was an effort.
I pulled the timeline from my folder and slid it across the table to her.
“What’s this?”
“It’s a timeline.”
“I can see that, but why did you do one? I was going to do it for us.” She appeared reluctant to lift her head more than a few inches, and peered up at me through her lashes. I wondered if her neck was beginning to hurt her with all the concealment she seemed intent to follow through with.
“Do you have one finished?” I wasn’t trying to prove anything by asking, I simply wanted to confirm the fears brewing in the pit of my stomach since this morning. “I had some extra time,”
I quickly added. “We can combine them if you want.”
When she didn’t answer right away, I sucked my breath in and looked across the room.
“Evie.” Telling her I wasn’t going to be at Jake’s this Friday was on the tip of my tongue.
Somehow keeping it in my head seemed a whole lot easier than letting it out, but she interrupted me before I even had the chance.
“I didn’t have time to work on it last night, sorry.” Her pencil made hurried marks on the notebook in front of her.
“Evie,” I repeated her name.
This time she looked up from the paper.
Before I could stop myself, my hand reached out and gingerly found its way to the softness of her cheek. She hesitated beneath my touch, but remained still, and I felt the coolness of my palm begin to warm against her. The horrible lashing was now safely cupped in my hand, and I held it there, as if trying to erase what had been done. If others were watching, I didn’t notice. I didn’t care. The only person who mattered was Evie.
“I’m sorry,” I pulled my hand away. “It’s just that it looks like it hurts.”
Her hazel eyes stared at me for a moment. “It does.” An uncomfortable pause stretched, and then she asked, “Aren’t you going to ask me how it happened?”
I wanted to. More than anything, I wanted to hear her say his name. I wanted her to tell me he had done this to her, and not repeat the made up story he had told me in the bathroom – that this was the result of a silly accident that should be forgotten.
I shook my head, “You wouldn’t need to ask that if you really wanted me to know.” I was giving her space. I hope she knew that.
To my surprise, she reached for my hand again and placed it over her cheek, just where it had been a minute ago, and held it much longer than necessary.
Professor Coleman began his usual walk around the classroom to observe, and I let her slip my hand away from hers. I handed her the pencil she had been using and watched as she bent her head. The lead scratched against the paper. Her hair fell back into place, and I could see her cheek move and rise. She was smiling, and suddenly, there was an inkling that I could actually be right about that moment in the car.
Chapter Fourteen
Evie
Ignoring Shane was easy. He seemed to go along with my avoiding him, but with his silence came no attempt at an apology, and I got the feeling he was letting me believe last night was all my fault.
For once, Tara didn’t seem to have much to say. On a normal day, she had plenty, but at the tail end of lunch, when she’d finally returned to school, our table was quiet, and I couldn’t tell if I liked it that way or not. Shane and Co. had Debate again, which was fine with me. What I really wanted was to sit at the back table with Chase, with or without Tara, but that wasn’t going to happen since Chase was nowhere to be found.
I made Max and Sienna switch from their usual spots to the opposite side of the table, giving me a better view of the far end of the dining hall in case Chase would walk in late. I was sure what had happened in English had made him uncomfortable, and I wanted to reassure him everything was okay.
“So what are you going to do about him?” Tara whispered to me over her egg salad sandwich. It was all she could choose from the Ala Carte line so late in the period. I had absolutely no desire to eat, and only picked at the food I had randomly chosen to place on my tray.
“Him?” my thoughts were still locked on Chase.
Tara tapped her finger to her cheek, and then I got it. Shane.
“I don’t know yet.”
My answer stumped her. I could tell she wanted to talk about this more than I did, and I kept shooting down her attempts. I wanted to keep our discussion to a minimum, especially since
Max and Sienna were eating with us. They were usually oblivious to anything going on around them when they were together, but Max was one of Shane’s closest friends, and I was a little on edge around him today.
“Does it hurt?” she asked, gesturing to her own cheek. If she was bent on keeping the conversation from sitting stagnant, she was doing a tremendous job. I sighed, and realized this was going to be a long last few minutes of our lunch hour, but Tara was being unusually sensitive about this, so I went along with it.
“A little when I touch it.”
“Hmm,” she murmured. “Are you going to break up with him?”
I thought about that for a second. Shane made things difficult. Very difficult. He wasn’t just a n
ormal guy here at Whitley. He happened to be the most popular, and related to the Headmaster. He was top in all his studies, all his classes, and belonged to more groups and clubs than I could count. Upholding his stellar image at Whitley was essential, if not crucial, and it both confused and enraged me that he was capable of losing his control, especially with me.
I shook my head. “I’m not sure yet. I really don’t know what to do.”
My breaking up with Shane seemed to be on her mind a lot today and a reminding flash of the two of them in the chem lab window ate at me. I continued to pick at my food; the smell of her sandwich churned my stomach. If I broke things off with Shane, people would wonder why, especially his friends. Shane would make up a different version of the truth for their sake—one that would point to me as the wrongdoer and Shane rising like a shining trophy from the ashes.
If I told the truth about how last night . . . well, chances are it would do nothing to tarnish his credibility around here.
But that’s how it worked. Shane Whitley was social perfection.
The truth was, I wasn’t concerned about staying with him because of the status he held. I was concerned about the consequences of walking away.
“Did you decide if you’re going to Jake’s?” Tara asked. “I mean, if you’re so undecided on where you and Shane are right now, maybe you shouldn’t go.”
I hadn’t given the party any thought since that positively euphoric moment yesterday when I convinced Chase to go. Now, I was having second thoughts about it. Not for me, but for Chase – for the very reasons why I was concerned for him in the first place. Since Shane and I were on undetermined terms right now, where did that place Chase in the scheme of things? Would it give Shane the nudge to leave Chase alone, or go after him?
Tara followed my line of vision. My thoughts had betrayed me again as I stared a hole into the chair Chase usually sat in across the room.
“You really like him, don’t you?” she asked hesitantly. There was no undertone of mockery in her voice, just sincerity.
I nodded, “Yeah, I do.” I stood up and pushed my chair back under the table. “I have to go.”
Grabbing my purse and the half-eaten tray of food, I left the table, leaving Tara alone with a very confused Max and Sienna.
By the time I left the dining hall, I could feel my heart beat with the assurance of my mission.
I wasn’t sure where to find Chase, but I certainly wasn’t going to waste time staring at his empty seat. He was going to think I was crazy for saying it, but I had to convince him not to go to Jake’s. It wouldn’t be all that hard. I knew he never wanted to go in the first place, and I could only imagine how skeptical he must have been to find that note in his locker inviting him.
What I was worried about was how to un-invite him without him thinking it was me who didn’t want him there.
My original idea of working on the poetry paper flashed into my mind. It was perfect. We could meet at the library again and finish it, saving my sanity from worry about what Shane and his friends could come up with to ruin Chase.
With my head full of bright ideas, it was soon obvious there was little room for any navigational skills. I rounded the steps, intent on hurrying to the English wing and found myself slamming smack into Mr. Floyd. My carelessness caused the papers and books he’d been carrying to topple from his arms, and they now lay strewn across several steps at our feet.
“Whoa there, young lady, in a hurry, are we?”
“I’m so sorry Mr. Floyd. I wasn’t watching where I was going!”
He pushed his glasses up onto the bridge of his nose and surveyed the minimal damage.
“Yes, I see that.”
I retrieved the pages from the bottom steps and made my way back up to grab the others before he did.
“I meant to ask you, Evie, how are things going with the project I assigned to you? I know you and Tara Reynolds are already friends, but, how has it been adding Chase Mitman to your group?”
“Group?” Shane and his friends defined our group. How was I supposed to answer that?
“Yes,” he looked at me quizzically, “Your study group?”
I felt my cheeks blush. “Oh, it’s been fine. No trouble at all,” I replied as my head filled with pleasant images of Chase. “I mean, Tara still has her part to focus on, but otherwise its fine.”
“That’s good to hear.”
In the flurry of collecting Mr. Floyd’s papers and answering him, I had forgotten to keep the side of my face hidden.
“Evie! What on earth happened? Are you alright?” His forehead creased deeply with concern, and the blush I had moments ago bloomed into a nice shade of beet red.
“Oh, my cheek, you mean?” I tried to laugh it off and handed his papers back, focusing my attention on flattening the ones that were a bit crumpled to begin with. “I’m…a klutz. It happened last night when I walked into the bathroom without seeing that the door was closed. “Pretty stupid of me, right?”
I plastered a big fat grin to my face and hoped he would see the humor in it, maybe even laugh right along with me. Only Mr. Floyd wasn’t laughing, and all I could hear was another piece of my dad’s wisdom ringing in my head—Never make up excuses for a boy who doesn’t deserve them.
“Yes, well, be more careful next time,” he said slowly, and with that I nodded and flew up the steps.
I had a small window of time to find Chase before the teachers left the faculty lounge downstairs and returned to their classrooms. Even though I was most likely alone on this floor, it didn’t stop me from being extra careful, especially after what had just happened with Mr.
Floyd. Students weren’t permitted to have free reign on the upper floors where there were no lockers, and I had no choice but to be alert.
I peered into room 224, our English Lit classroom, but there was no sign of Chase.
Automatically, I headed toward the library. A door down the passage to my left opened suddenly, stopping me in my tracks, and I ducked into the doorframe of the south stairwell. I let my head edge around the corner, hoping it was only the janitor, but to my surprise I saw Shane and Jake slowly making their way in my direction. I leaned against the frame and stared at the steps just past the glass partition, knowing if I was fast enough, I could slip down them unseen.
The Debate auditorium was on the lowest level of the school. Why on earth would they be up here? I thought. My heart pounded as I heard them approach closer, bringing with them bits and pieces of their conversation—and I found I couldn’t move. Their words held me frozen.
“So you’re actually planning on throwing them together? I don’t understand.” There was uncertainty in Jake’s deep voice, and I waited for Shane to answer him, wondering what and whom they were talking about, although deep down I believed I already knew.
Shane let out a little snicker, which sounded nothing short of malicious. “It’s what they’d least be expecting. Even you think I should step in and stop their friendship.”
“Well, doesn’t that make sense, you stopping it?”
They came to a stop just a few feet from where I stood hiding, and my heart felt as if it would burst into my throat.
“Jake, how can I spell it out any clearer for you? I’m bored with her.”
And now, I knew he was talking about me. As if what Shane had just said wasn’t a big deal; as if I was an article of clothing he had suddenly grown tired of wearing. I pressed my back tight against the wall, needing it to hold me up for a second. I shook my head, not knowing what to make of what I had just heard. I was hurt, outraged.
I’m nothing to him.
It didn’t matter. I didn’t want to mean anything to him anymore. In a way I was actually happy he was finished with me; it let me off the hook from needing to find a way out.
“I’ve already asked him to do a little something for me.”
“And?”
There was silence and then Shane’s voice, “He didn’t say no.”
“So,�
�� Jake was working it through. “Evie won’t like him afterwards.”
“That’s the point. She already knows I don’t play fair. What she doesn’t realize is how far I’ll go. But don’t worry I’m sure she’ll come crawling back after she sees how alike they are.”
Their voices grew faint and, with relief, I sighed, knowing they continued down the hall in the opposite direction. A sick part of me wanted to hear more. As horrible and hurtful as their conversation was, I needed to hear it. I wanted to know why Shane had said Chase and I were alike. How would that ultimately make me choose Shane over Chase? Even if he didn’t want me in his life anymore?
From this distance I could hear their feet come to a rest, and I wondered if Jake’s face held the confusion it so often did when he was puzzled over something. It must have because Shane sounded exasperated.
“They’re damaged goods, Jake, both of them. Only he’s a bit more . . .”
What? A bit more what? I pressed my cheek against the wall, straining to hear without giving myself away. The pressure of the tile bit into my bruised face, but it didn’t matter right now.
Their conversation fell into broken fragments and the rest of Shane’s words were lost.
When I could no longer hear them, I slipped from the doorframe and stood in the empty corridor, feeling the impact of their conversation. With swift feet, I pushed myself onward toward the library doors waiting for me at the end of the next hall.
Chapter Fifteen
Chase
The bag crinkled as I pulled out the last greasy potato chip and shoved it into my mouth. I had just devoured one of Aunt Claudie’s famous Reuben sandwiches, wadded up the waxed paper, and BAM - a perfect dunk-shot into the metal garbage bin a few yards away. I had to admit it was a good idea to eat alone in the library; kind of like old times.
I would have preferred Evie here though.
Heck, I’d prefer Evie over the racks of books right now, but there was no way I was going to sit at Shane’s table again, even if she had asked, which she hadn’t. So, sitting on the floor with my back against a shelf in the last row of the library seemed the wisest alternative. Annie Kline, the school’s part-time librarian, was at lunch with the rest of the faculty, so I had the place all to myself, leaving me to dine with my thoughts.